Knowing the Age: Does it Count?

It took a prodding from my good friend Edell and not personal circumstances (‘cause I know what you’re thinking now Daene!) to write another entry on relationships. Granted, I veer away from such topics because, though how much I wanted to be one, I’m not exactly what you would call a relationship guru (experience-wise that is). Nonetheless, this seems to be a recurring topic among my friends lately and so I think it’s high time that I use this for my serious entry (last time was two years ago! Btw, re-reading the entry I made before would be of help in digesting this present one).

Think about it…
At one point in a relationship, this matter can definitely be an issue. For sure, it can be sensationalized and magnified that not even the other, supposedly more important, aspects of the relationship garnered much attention. It is even one of the first things that you ask when you meet a person for the first time, let alone someone of the opposite sex. Hell, there’s even a dating show currently airing in TV that revolves around the theme. It is that age-old question: Does age matter?

Let’s get this out of the way…Yes, we know fundamentally that in the end, love does not choose age, yada yada yada (I’m speaking gibberish due to the risk of sounding mushy). That, I believe, would HAVE to be the ultimate conclusion for any approach to this matter. And it is for this reason that I would like to state it first and discuss other, not equally as substantial but possibly more entertaining, things.

And those are…
Let’s face it, age to some degree matters in a relationship. First, there’s that biological clock thing that we women cannot avoid. And then, there’s that issue which is most of the time my justification for not getting involved with a younger guy and that is the level of maturity. Some (scientists?) say that women mature faster than men…and although I may come across as biased (feminist?), I find that to be true…okay, MOST of the time true. There are definitely exceptions to that rule, but so far I only see them in my Korean dramas (so what does THAT imply? I’m willing to be single for a decade if God would assure me that I would end up with a Kang Tae Bong!). And lastly, we can’t all be Demi Moores and there could only be ONE Ashton Kutcher. ‘Nuff said.

I would only talk about older women getting involved with younger men since it, through the course of societal evolution (if there’s such a term, but you get my drift), steers from the norm (and I think it’s waaayyyy more interesting than talking about women who get involved with men who are too old for them). I must admit, I still belong to that group of women who still envisions The One (same usage as my entry then) as someone who is older than I with the same level of maturity as I have. I usually ask my friends when it comes to this topic, “what’s your age range?” and my friends all have different answers with varying reasons. And since age is relative, one’s definition of younger will be different to the next person. So my age range? +5 -1…and believe me, some even have a steeper range than I do. And sorry for sounding too restrictive but given that a female has an age range in mind: On the onset, would you even start getting involved with someone out of your age range?

And of course, my own answer would be it depends, case in point: the stranger’s dilemma. Though previously I talked about the stranger’s dilemma on the physical level, it can also be related to the age attribute. If you ask me point blank if you can set me up with a younger man out of my age range and he’s a stranger, I would flat-out say no, unless there’s already a certain level of attraction (physically or just plain instinct) to the young stranger. That is why women initially get jealous when Demi snagged Ashton, or when Samantha Jones snagged Smith Jerrod, before even delving into the age issue.

On the other hand, what if the out-of-range male is a friend? Then the age range can be compromised, hence the vision is again compromised. And how far (in terms of age differential) would the compromise be? Then it depends on the male friend’s other attributes to make the age really just a number.


I once saw a TV show where one person said, “The best accessory a woman could have is a younger man.” And at that time, I laughed my head off. I could have just said at that time that the day that I would even CONSIDER getting involved with a guy too young for my taste would be the day when Jinggoy Estrada gets a Best Actor Award…

…but then again, stranger things have happened.