farewell ice

One of my best and longest friends in my life passed away this week. I’ve always known that she has a serious illness ever since we were in grade school, but its severity, though we knew it by definition, was easily forgotten as my friend constantly downplays it, even sometimes informing us of whenever she gets confined after the fact. I know that it’s a sickness that can’t be cured, but with constant medical attention it can be controlled and its victims able to live for most of their lives.

Last Tuesday was a horrible day for me, getting that fateful urgent text for us to come right away. Fearing while in the taxi that one of my friends will call me before I arrive because it has happened. Hoping that it might not be too late and that this will just be one of those close calls like before. I arrived at 1:47pm, she died at 1:49pm.

Until now I can’t remember what I felt. Her mom called my name and cried out that Kung is gone. I didn’t know what to say, fearing of saying the wrong thing and at the same time how to react when I’m having difficulty on what just happened sink into my head. I stopped myself from crying out and just let my tears fall, knowing that I’ll have my private time to cry out before I go to sleep. I touched her lifeless body and warred within myself if I can continue to look at Ice’s face since this is not the lasting image I want of her. I silently said my goodbye and went out of the ICU to begin the aching process of informing her friends.

My last picture together with Ice
Thank you Ice, for being the reliable source of boundless optimism in my life. The memories we had will live on and you will never be forgotten. No more teasing you of when you’ll settle down, or annoying you because we keep reliving your past crushes even until now, or even reining us in when we get too crazy. When I go to Japan, it will be with a tinge of sadness knowing that we have agreed years ago to visit that country together.

You have been my friend for more than half of my life, and now I know that you’ll be my guardian angel for the rest of it, always showing the flipside of all the cynical thoughts I let root in my mind. I know things have been hard for the past year and that you’re now in a peaceful place with God. It’s time to rest, my friend. ‘Til we meet again. You’re welcome to appear and scold me (just make it tasteful, hahaha) whenever I screw up.