unmasking 2020

I wasn’t planning to include a main photo for my year-end post this time around. I usually pick a key travel photo, preferably a back shot since I’m “looking back” to the year that was *insert snicker emoji* And given the clusterf*ck that is 2020, I initially planned on using some other solo photo and wax poetic about how the picture symbolizes my 2020.

But lo and behold, while scrolling through the smattering of pictures in my phone, I found this gem:


This was taken after my brother’s wedding (hence the gown) and it’s still early in the day (the wedding was at 8am >.< ) so I don’t want to change clothes yet. So I told my mom to take some photos of me behind our house in the province (got a couple of photos posing with farm animals in my gown hehe).

I guess you can say that this pretty much sums up what I miss for the past 10 months: the celebrations (sans gown) + just being outdoors and be with nature. Little did I know, three weeks after taking this picture, that life will throw me/us this curveball.

Since there’s hardly much in my social media to jog my memory on this year’s highlights, I’ll just let my camera roll lay out what my 2020 was:

* screencaps of recipes and pictures of my “creations” (the nice looking ones, I sent to my mom) – who would’ve thought the prolonged quarantine would finally compel me to cook?

* screencaps of zoom calls – thank you, technology for this. I might likely be heading to the deep end if it weren’t for video calls and internet in general.

* screencaps of news headlines – because I just want to throttle this government

* pictures and videos of my nieces and nephew – got a new niece this year! Been looking at their pics and videos for the past few months whenever I need an upper

* home improvements – after almost 7 years in my home, I finally got a belen and put up some Christmas lights. Need to feel festive. And oh, I cleaned a lot (though my place is still messy)

So yeah, that sums up my 2020. Thankfully, I managed to squeeze in two trips in January (Cebu) and February (Bacolod) due to weddings. I miss travelling. My trips are my own mini celebrations.

While this year has been a struggle, this year has brought to fore the blessings given to me. I am grateful that I am safe. Grateful that I can eat. Grateful that I can still pay my bills. Grateful that I can buy medicine and supplements. Grateful that my family and friends are still present as we all forge on our own respective battles. This is a year that I vacillated through extreme moods (the year that I laughed the most and cried the most in recent memory), and there’s not enough distractions from the trappings of “normal” life that will allow me to procrastinate from dwelling into thoughts and reflections. This year, I got to appreciate people more. I thought about the future more. I took care of myself more.

I don’t know if 2021 will be better, since the possibility of it being worse is also within the realm of possibility. I just hope and wish that I’ll continue to be at peace and be kinder this 2021.

So, thank you for an interesting year, to say the least. This is already the second year in a row that I’m celebrating the holidays solo (bro and sis in law were supposed to fly in for Christmas, but then…covid). So I’m ready with my wine, cheese, and a couple of Hallmark flicks to ring in the new year.

Cheers, and be safe!